it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
