Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the day after is always just damage control
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
