I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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