Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
