dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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