we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
