Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
