dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
