I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
