Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
