Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
