She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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