this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This toilet bowl is my home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
