I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
