I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
