Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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