Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
