We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
