This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
