yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
