do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
