My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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