I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
