Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
