he thought i was a dude.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We're too hungover to prance.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
