This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Mom said you looked used
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
