I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
