Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
