oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
