We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
