I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
