i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
