I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
