i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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