The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
