It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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