I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
