dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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