I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
