well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
