someone threw a dead crab at me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
