5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
PANTIES FOUND
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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