If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
