Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
