the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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