Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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