How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Send help, water and tortillas.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
