so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
