I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
