Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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